In a span of a two weeks, fans of ribald fantasy stories have been given the gift of three comics featuring plenty of bloody hacking and slashing, foul language, and the triple threat of male, female, and non-human nudity. I joyously sat down last night to read all three. I did so when no one else was around for reasons that will soon become apparent.
Barbaric: Born in Blood #1 (of 3)
Vault Comics
Writer: Michael Moreci
Art: Nathan Gooden
Colors: Fabiana Marques
I’ve been reading Barbaric since it began in 2021. Told through a number of miniseries and one-shots, Barbaric is the story of a barbarian doubly cursed. First, he is cursed to do good. Second, he is cursed with a talking battle-axe that gets drunk on the blood of those it cleaves. I like to describe Barbaric as a drunken, immature Dungeons & Dragons. Lots of viscera being splashed about and lots and lots of foul language.
Truth be told, the foul language isn’t inventive, but the cursing never overstays its welcome because the pages turn so quickly. What carries Barbaric beyond its potty mouth is its art and its cast of fantasy fighters, none of which are really heroes. (If they are heroic at all it’s only because those they fight are often the worst of the worst.) The character interactions are snipes and jibes; it’s quippy fun, but there is an ongoing story being strung along throughout each miniseries, and enough character back-story to make the main cast more than just rude killing machines.
On the art side, there is a sharpness to the character designs that really appeals to me. Artist Nathan Gooden can really draw the shit out of hair! The bold and bloody fights are never tiring or repetitive. There’s always a few clever twists among the flying blood. There is a dark humor to the visuals, too, like when a character gets fried by a dragon in the early pages of this issue and we see his charred remains holding the treasure chest he so desperately wanted.
Of the three comics I sat down to read, Barbaric was the first because I wanted to see how the story was progressing, but it was the least ribald of the bunch.
Deathstalker #1
Vault Comics
Writer: Tim Seeley
Art: Jim Terry
Colors: Kurt Michael Russell
Oh man. Deathstalker. Your poster art was better than your movie.
I’m testing my memory here but I’m pretty sure the ’80s were a big decade for fantasy films. I’d wager this was due to the rising influence of Dungeons & Dragons. With the success of Star Wars, which is basically a fantasy story set in space, movie studios tried their hand at bringing fantasy to the big screen. There are certainly a handful of classics that stand the test of time like Conan the Barbarian, Excalibur, Dragonslayer, and, of course, Deathstalker.
No. No. I jest. Deathstalker was hot garbage and remains even more so today. It’s an artifact of excess and thus is a fine example of the best of the worst of 80s cinema. The original took itself far too seriously. The sequel, Deathstalker II, is a lot more fun– in a “don’t tell anyone I’m into this sort of thing” kind of way. There’s still a lot of gratuitous nudity and cringe but everyone seems to be in on the joke.
I mention these 80s B-flicks because the Deathstalker comic just launched by Vault Comics is set in that fantasy realm. As the comic begins, the titular “hero” has just shagged a hottie whose physical purity had been promised to a cult headed by her brother. Now Deathstalker and the fully nude not-so-innocent are being chased by the cult. The brother doesn’t wear clothes either. During one of several fights, Deathstalker’s gnome sidekick says Deathstalker must kill the brother. If the brother dies his pox-ridden zealots will tuck tail and run. We are then treated to a panel filled with the brother’s prodigious dingle dangling, followed by Deathstalker’s look of disgust, and the words “I’d really rather not fight that guy.”
I laughed out loud.
If that description didn’t make you chuckle then stay away from Deathstalker the comic.
Lester of the Lesser Gods #1 (of 3)
Dark Horse / Albatross Funny Books
Writers: Eric Powell & Lucky Yates
Art: Gideon Kendall
I saved the best and most ribald for last. Lester of the Lesser Gods #1 is a continuation of a story started in a one-shot that was released in 2021. (Hey, the same year Barbaric debuted!) Lester is an overweight underachiever in life but overachiever in LARP. When the apocalypse happens it is like his LARPing has prepared him for all that shall happen! Lester rises up against Satan…
…and gets his ass kicked.
That is when Odin shows up. And he’s got one helluva a whopper to tell Lester. His daddy wasn’t some biker his momma shagged in an out-of-service bathroom stall. Nope, his momma (who smells like cigarettes and fury) snogged Odin. Lester is none other than the son of Odin so he better goddamn well start acting like it. Odin gives Lester a powerful set of tools to aid in the fight again Satan: A duckbot (a silly homage to Bubo the mechanical owl from the 1980s Clash of the Titans) and the sword Razor Dong the Ass Splitter, which had been forged by Kenneth the Dwarf. (You’re getting a sense of the tone of this comic, I bet…)
You are treated to a tight and funny rehash of that one-shot in the opening pages of this new comic miniseries. Then we find Lester in the midst of gladiatorial combat. He’s still wearing a leather thong and knee high boots and is still gloriously over confident. He rips across the wasteland on an old-person’s scooter, and his love interest appears to be a Grace Jones inspired cat-woman.
The villain at play here is a buffoon called the Technomancer. In the before times, he worked at a Best Buy-like store and liked to harass Lester. “We got beef,” Lester explains. The Technomancer flies through the sky on a mechanical chair with the trailing sound effects of “schmuk, schmuk, schmuk”. That made me smile.
The crassness and lewdness of Deathstalker made me look over my shoulder in my own house, but what unfolds in Lester of the Lesser Gods— though arguably more crude and juvenile– didn’t have me listening for approaching footsteps. It’s probably because there is no female nudity in Lester of the Lesser Gods. The nudity is just Lester’s big ass and then a flock of rampaging pant-less goblins with buttholes and schlongs on display.
That feels far more acceptable. (Chad Boudreau)
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